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Message ID: 3022
Date: Fri Feb 16 04:28:17 GMT 2001
Author: Mindseye
Subject: Fw: Humor from the past


> DELUXE ENCHANTER PETS (can't remember which ezboard)
>
> posted by Rhavina December 08, 2000 10:22 AM
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----
> While it is asserted by some that Magicians are masters of the
> summoned pet I am here to dispute such rubbish. It should be obvious
> to anyone that Enchanters have the best pets. "Scoff, scoff" you say?
> You think our animations are puny, stupid and lack the scintillating
> conversation offered by other casters' pets? If I were speaking of the
> default Enchanter pet line, the (insert lame anagram-created name
> here)'s Animation, you would be correct. However, we have a deluxe
> line of enchanter pets that people seem to forget about, each with
> their own strengths and weaknesses. One immediate advantage you'll
> note is that we can have up to five pets at a time. Let us examine
> each in turn:
>
> Warrior
> Components Needed: Celerity and an alcoholic beverage or promise of
> lots of shiny metal objects.
> Pros: Strong attack/defense, it will usually last long enough for you
> to zone or gate to safety.
> Cons: A tendency to get you trained by mobs, Auto-Attack always seems
> to be on, "/Pet Back Off" command appears to be bugged.
> The toughest of our pet line but often the most troublesome. The
> warrior pet comes in many shapes and sizes. I prefer the barbarian
> warrior pet combo. With a warrior pet it's generally best to just turn
> them loose and stand back. They ignore most commands and tend to pull
> when you're least ready. Hearty, strong, and stupid (but within
> acceptable limits), the warrior is best used in dungeons and other
> tight fighting spots. Make sure you stand upwind of it though.
>
> Ranger
> Components Needed: Clarity and words of encouragement, or free rezzes.
> Pros: Nice multipurpose pet; can track, forage, and cast spells, some
> fighting ability.
> Cons: Tends to die a lot, poor self image.
> Great for outdoor hunting if you can't manage to summon a druid pet.
> The ranger pet is good for quests. It is excellent at locating that
> rare spawn. Like following a bloodhound without any depth perception
> you'll go careening all over the zone, often passing much more
> interesting spawns, but eventually you will run your quarry to
> ground...unless it de-spawns in the meantime.
>
> Paladin
> Components Needed: Clarity and tell it you're on a mission from the
> gods.
> Pros: Decent fighting ability, great one shot heal, very
> self-sacrificial.
> Cons: Holier than thou.
> The paladin is great for those areas where you need to burn a pet to
> achieve your ends, such as holding off a group of berserk undead while
> you loot that special spawn and gate to safety. Also useful for
> purchasing things and turning in quest items in those good cities
> where you've "accidently" killed one too many
> sacred fish or annoying halflings.
>
> Shadowknight
> Components Needed: Clarity and save it from villagers with pitchforks
> and torches.
> Pro: Decent fighting ability, nasty one shot DD, can summon its own
> pet, few if any ethical hangups.
> Cons: Will sell you out to villagers with pitchforks and torches, few
> if any ethical hangups.
> The shadowknight pet is the very definition of a double-edged sword.
> Handy in a fight and utterly ruthless, it may trip you up trying to
> elbow its way out the door to the zone exit. Their best use is for
> activities too repulsive for paladins but too tough for rangers. Never
> turn your back on it.
>
> Bards
> Components Needed: An audience.
> Pros: Mana song make Enchanters feel like they have Clarity.
> Cons: It's a bard.
> The bard pet is mostly useful for enhancing other pets. Otherwise they
> run too fast, tend to aggro everything in hearing range and clutter up
> your text buffer.
>
> Rogues
> Components Needed: It will choose it own components.
> Pros: Able to enter wretched hives of scum and villainy (Felwithe,
> Rivervale, etc.).
> Cons: Have an aggressive form of "/autosplit others".
> The Rogue pet is your ultimate stealth pet. When you need to get into
> and out of hostile territory without having your pet aggro everything
> in sight, summon a rogue. They seldom cause trains and gods save any
> mob that turns its back on a rogue pet to smash your beautiful face.
> It is generally unwise to accept food or drink from rogue pets.
>
> Necromancers
> Components Needed: Phat l00t.
> Pros: Just ask, they'll tell you about them for hours.
> Cons: Talk in an arcane argot called d00dspeak (and you thought gnoll
> was bad).
> One of the most powerful pets available to you but also the hardest to
> summon. The necromancer pet is virtually self-sufficient to the point
> of not even needing you. Use this pet to kill other people's pets,
> break spawns or make you feel really inadequate. They may challenge
> you to a duel, sometimes even during a pull.
>
> Wizards
> Components Needed: Clarity and flammable targets.
> Pros: Your own personal nuclear arsenal.
> Cons: Fragile, they make rangers seem robust.
> If you like quick brutal fights with long down times then the wizard
> pet is for you. Best for eliminating that singular uber-mob in a loud,
> colorful fashion, the wizard pet is a self driven auto-cannon with
> fire-and-forget capability. They are death
> machines right up until a mob actually gets close enough to lay
> hands/claws/fangs upon it or they go "oom". Then wizards tend to die.
> Fast. They also make great taxis.
>
> Magicians
> Components Needed: Clarity and patience.
> Pros: Wal-Mart in a robe.
> Cons: Slow recast time after link death.
> While the magician pet can summon additional "lesser" pets and deal
> out direct damage spells, perhaps its best use is as your own private
> supply wagon. Need food and drink? The mage summons it. Need more
> bandages? Tap the mage. Magic weapons for newbie pets? You know who.
> It is best if you allow your magician pet to summon an elemental pet
> as this will extend its lifespan by an order of magnitude. Besides the
> mob will then have to chew through two pets to get to you.
>
> Druid
> Components Needed: Clarity and a donation to Green Peace.
> Pros: As ranger without actually being a ranger.
> Cons: Fleas.
> The druid pet is "the" outdoors specialist. Curiously, a druid pet
> fights best while running away which is a tactic that takes a little
> getting use to. Not recommended for Enchanters with heart or lung
> problems. The druid is marvelously self-sufficient but not as
> annoyingly so as the necromancer. They are also great for travel. Need
> to get to some godsforsaken spot on Norrath? There is probably a druid
> ring within a zone or two of it. A word of caution, if you enjoy
> killing bears, wolves, and treants then letting a druid transport you
> can turn into a one-way trip.
>
> Shaman
> Components Needed: Clarity and a donation to the "magical herb fund".
> Pros: They're not bards.
> Cons: Always pawing through something's entrails trying to divine
> lotto numbers.
> The shaman pet is the pet you summon to enhance other pets. A shaman
> excels at making your other pets stronger, faster and tougher. It can
> also cast some offensive spells and even fight if pressed. And it does
> it without being a bard. It also can create potions that duplicate the
> more useful spells or just see and hear cool colors. Be watchful of
> their pets as they may try to bury your wand or rod in the backyard.
>
> Cleric
> Components Needed: Clarity and a donation to the local temple.
> Pros: Your own personal M*A*S*H.
> Cons: Chance of a jihad.
> The cleric pet is another great support pet. It has incredible healing
> abilities and can generally cure all that ails you. A good choice when
> you're going after undead or attacking a leper colony. When summoning
> a cleric pet one should be mindful of which god the cleric pet
> represents as this can make the difference between receiving the
> blessings of a higher power or eternal damnation or both.
>
> Monk
> Components Need: Celerity and seven divine truths.
> Pros: Low maintenance, self repairing.
> Cons: Has a tendency to faint during bad pulls.
> The monk pet is ideal for Enchanters who travel light. One seldom has
> to equip a monk pet and it will actually complain if you give it too
> much coin. For the quick, surgical strike summon a monk pet. The monk
> is also extremely handy if you need wooden boards or bricks cut in
> two.
>
>
>
>
> Celaeno <Fiery Fists of Unity>
> Fier'dal druid of Erollisi Marr
>