I guess I am lucky. Let me explain why. I have a bard and a cleric. My bard is 41 and is hanging in DL now doing the xp grind. Most folks do FFA there or loot to 5 or 10pp in a trust rotation - if someone seems to abuse the system, it's simple to ctrl -d if they don't listen to reason. And as a bard, I am always standing to sing, I melee the mob and hang with the casters for clarity song during pulls(normally I am not the puller/tank) so my bard gets his fair share.

Now my cleric is 28(so close to 29). And he sits on his butt all the time. But here comes the lucky part - I have around 8 RL friends(some I work with, some I met via the game) that I play with consistently. RL ages range from low 20's to high 30's and most of us are technical professionals(software and engineering). We have 2 warriors, 1 monk, 1 ranger, 1 rogue, 1 chanter, 1 mage, 1 SK and 1 cleric that are our mains. We also have a shaman, a druid, a wizard and another ranger and cleric available to fill in if there is a need(i.e., I normally play the cleric, but if I can't make it, there are backups to me). And yeah, we are fairly twinked. We have being doing FFA/King looter by accident. If a class can use it and it is an upgrade, it goes to them. If no one needs it, we roll. If someone is saving for a particular item, we give it to them to sell to help bankroll their purchase. Or we just let them have some pp. We are also focusing our hunting mostly in dungeons!
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. Dungeons that we didn't do with our first characters. We did Sol A for a while and are now setting up in Dalnir's. Some phat lewt drops and there is an abundance of FS to sell. And we are learning how to do dungeons right. I can rely on these guys to take care of me. We can crawl and pretty much own the mobs from our average level plus(close enough so we can cast on the mobs). Now Dalnir's does have some nasty casters, but stuns are nice so we still own them.

And yes, I did mention the high 20's/low 30's characters are twinked(not uber twinked, but decently twinked). Our group of higher leveled characters includes a 54 enchanter, 43 warrior, 51 druid, 51 shaman, 45 cleric and my 41 bard. But we share there too. My bard has SS boots, arms and gauntlets and an Iksar mask due to some hunting and nice rolling done by my friends in KC and OS(luckily no bards were in those groups). We mix and match equipment and spells. Warrior bought Boon of the werewolf for our enchanter; enchanter got SoV tp spells for our druid; druid got one of those nice druid SoV items, Donals arms to the cleric, etc. etc.

Most of us were in the same guild, but not anymore(54 enchanter branching out). Even when we all were in the same guild, the folks I play with regularly are closer than even that. I totally trust them and would give them anything to borrow without question. Or just give it to them. Oh yeah, my bard got two yaks from the warrior. = :).

So the moral of my soliloquy is, find some friends or folks you can trust and play with regularly. I know that can be difficult, but it is so fulfilling. A guild can help though my group of friends goes beyond that(I said I was lucky). If you can't do that, set ground rules early on loot if you have to play in a pickup group. Also, set ground rules early on who does what - main puller, main tank, assist main tank or puller, don't hit mezzed mobs, taunter breaks mez only, main healer, backup healer, snarer, DoT's allowed, pets, slow, haste, etc. If you don't feel comfortable, go find another group or get rid of the one causing the problem. As a bard, knowing who is doing what is very important as I can fill in if something can't be provided by a main character's ability - the songs I mem depend on who is in the group and what their role is. But even if you are not a bard, test your understanding of who does what before you have a bad situation or CR. Use macros to cast !
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spells or do abilities and tell the folks in your group what you are doing - mezzing beserker, assisting Rargar, mob snared, Casting superior heal on %t, etc.

Most of all, have fun! Sorry I got so wordy.

Piemur Draggonsinger
Bard of 41 or so Songs
Robiinton Masterhealer
Cleric of 28 Seasons

Unity of Spirits Guild
The Nameless