As a guide, we don't have the ability to change a person's surname. This being the case I never got exposed to the possible valid characters than can be used beyond the " ' ". I'm sure its certainly possible to use ahyphen, however, I've never witnessed a character name that included one. My suggestion would probably be to decide on a new one you both agree upon.. and if you claim devoice, your old one can be restored.
It's pretty much been agreed by most polls that a vast majority of PC's are male ( whether they appear male or female). My guild consist mainly of RL couples, which is great because then tend to be more mature overall. They also certainly give a balance to the guild and I enjoy that immensely.
btw.. Verant has no policy for or against in game marriages. They leave it up to the CS staff assigned to the server. In game issues, harassment and a host of other problems are the priority. I will say there are a few guides+ that enjoy bringing characters together and have developt ceremonial scripts for weddings. Send a petition well in advance of the date in which you wish to get married. The information of Time/Place/Player Names are collected and posted at the end of the shift. On our server we had a calendar of sorts which listed the upcoming events which included weddings.
D.