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Message ID: 1019
Date: Wed Mar 14 19:05:43 GMT 2001
Author: Nygaardr, FC3
Subject: RE: [EverQuest] Just wondering...


Found this on my Server board, not sure who originaly wrote it.
 
Why Clan Spiritslammer isn't Uber!
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I've seen some posts from people putting Clan Spiritslammer in the same Uber neighborhood as the Watchers, SR and LOH.

Well just to throw a dose of reality on all of you, here is a list why Clan Spiritslammer is NOT uber (all true).

1) Planning a Severilous raid 9/10s of the guild had to ask what zone he was in.

2) Getting a group of 6 together for Disco in Sebelis. Upon arrival, 4 of the 6 forgot their Seb keys at the bank. One of them forgot to camp his Seb key altogether.

3) At a Vox raid, our cleric had to heal his party from the pit while fending off bears and spiders.

4) One of our warriors asked and got irate at a shaman's pet when the pet wouldn't answer a request for a port.

5) A group of us asked a Necro's pet once for a corpse summons.

6) We constantly make the mistake of "Well SR can do it with 1 group, how hard can it be?!"

7) One of druids has fallen into the same pit trap in Howling Stones 9 times.

One of our warriors, after receiving a 10 minute lecture about being careful of where you walk in Sol A, promptly took a nose dive into the lava 30 seconds after zoning.

9) The same warrior then proceeded to take 15 more lava baths in Sol A.

10) We always forget we need to be in the same zone for corpse summoning.

11) The guides and GMs of Brell know all our names by heart because we manage to find every single terminal bug in any zone.

12) Our justification for doing Chardok zone when we were all in our late 40s was "Well we can always just zone out".

13) Same for Sebelis.

14) Same for Howling Stones.

15) One of our druids was so worried about forgetting his Howling Stones key, he accidently destroyed.

16) We've sold an SMR, a Dragoon Dirk, a Mith 2 Hander, a TBB, a Kunzar Cloak, a Mammoth Cloak, and an Evil Eye Bag (full at the time too) to various merchants all around Norrath.

17) Our druids (all of them) always have to ask "Which evac is it for EJ?".

1 In Sky we killed eachother off for corpse summoning and revives only to discover that there was no one for corpse summoning and revives left.

19) Our paladin (cough) looks like an Ewok in Kylong armor.

20) No single person in our guild quite knows the entire family tree... even after reading it.

21) We can do Fear in less then 3 hours, but can't get to any place in Velious in under 5.

22) To this day, when someone says "Can we pull something?" 3 people head out in different directions to pull.

23) Camping the AC in south ro, we were KSed by a 46th level solo mage (there were 5 of us, most all 55th levelish, grouped).

24) When a particular druid of ours attempts to port us, it is truly a mystery if we will actually port somewhere, port to the desired location, or watch the druid gate there while we go no where.

25) While trying to port to Gfay once, we ported to Hate.

26) Most people power level their alts and lower level guildmembers by helping to kill a mob they are fighting on a consistant basis. We just train ours and go conveniently link dead.

27) We once petitioned that the Noble Dojorn in Sky dropped a Runed Totem Staff. We later found out that Thorondar gave the Noble Dojorn the staff so it would have a worse damage/delay.

2 We constantly sell extra loot and then try to buy it back when we realize that we actually needed that item.

29) We can kill Trakanon, however most of our members have died to green cons while trying to cross most of the zones in Kunark and Velious.

30) One of the criteria for membership is "What's the largest train you have ever pulled?". Well we want to be the best at something /shrug. (P.S. - Conanb still owns this record /rude).

31) One of our warriors was killed by the same Avocet 5 times.

32) One of our paladins (sniff) was killed by Dorn 7 times (each one a purposeful attack).

33) One of our druids tried to kite Grim Feather at 20th level.

34) One of our druids has said the word "ow" approximately 2000 times MORE then any other person.... ever.

35) One of our warriors and one of our mages were lost in Lake Rathe for over 2 hours trying to find the SK zone. They kept swimming around the zone.

36) Our 60th level shaman still can't find his way through everfrost to find Halas.

37) A raid newbie once asked me "What's a death touch" to which Cazic Thule replied "KRUUNCH!".

3 One of our paladins (hurumph) once got a rez and ran off to rejoin the fight.....forgetting to loot his corpse.

39) One of our paladins (like we have more then 1) once got rezzed and proceeded to continue to pull Fear.... naked.

40) All of our clerics and druids have Sarnak Battle Shields but none of our melee do.

41) Cartumandua continually takes most of our phat lewt and just oggles it an hour out of every day.

42) One of our clerics continually complains about the crappy BP he has (he has a Trak BP).

43) We have one high level enchanter, and he is on heavy medication (he says it's for his back).

44) Our bard seems to go LD only when playing his levitate or EB song.

45) Our other enchanter goes LD anytime the word "incoming" is said in guild/group/say/ooc/shout.

46) Ruut (our troll SK) joined the guild because he heard we got phat lewt alot and thought we were all pretty skinny compared to him.

47) None of us day to day can decide what the hell faction we want in Velious, so we usually wind up at Karnors.

4 One a few occasions we've told a guildmate we're camping the Hand (in Karnors) and they proceeded to go to Lguk.

49) One of our Necros paid 2K for a purchaseable spell.

50) One of our Necros spent 3 weeks researching a purchaseable spell.
 
I thought it was pretty funny.
 
Mu